I’ll start with a song… its by Simpleplan called I’m just a kid, awesome song
I woke up it was 7, waited till 11, just to figure out that no one would call
I think I got a lot of friends but I don’t hear from them, whats another night all alone
When you’re spending everyday on your own and here it goes
Am just a kid and life is a nightmare
Am just a kid, I know that its not fair
Nobody cares cuz am alone
and the world is having more fun than me… tonight.
This song does clarify how it feels like to be (still) a 6 year old kid. Nobody understands you (me) and the contentious behavior. As a kid, you (I) demur everything. Dearth of common sense makes life more awesome as you (I) do things in a non-canonical way. All dogmas seem stupid.
Being a kid on the inside means that you get a different perspective on life altogether. Everything is simple and easy to understand. Polemical ideas come out in a very ebullient way. You (I) fight with anyone and everyone but in the end, you (I) end up calling them for a cup coffee (or maybe chocolate flavored milk).
My mood swings are different from adults, I get recalcitrant and peevish, in another second I’m really gregarious and facetious. Most of the time I’m alone (even the song says so, one of the reasons why I love this song) so, I love talking to anyone and everyone. They feel like “gee, this guy is an idiot.” and I’m like “ahh no reply, he/she is an idiot!! Who’s on next?!” I don’t give a damn about who thinks what, about me. All I need is a chocolate and a hotwheels car and I’m lost in my own world.
The problem is, as pointed out in the second line of the chorus in the song above, nobody is fair to me. People talk to me when they don’t have anyone else to talk to but when I talk to them, they get ultra busy (not everyone, but most of them). Nobody understands what goes on in my mind when they are being caustic because I usually don’t care (I show it that way) but, I’m still a kid, words do sting me (sometimes… mood swings you know). Loads of “friends” have my phone number, but they only ring up when their computers crash or when they need some help (not all, but most of them). The world does have more fun than me.
The best thing about it is imagination. Imagination runs wild and ideas get generated effortlessly and trust me it helps a lot as a programmer. Imagery in other words, for e.g.: I make a mental image of a particular programming problem and then imagine what the solution could be keeping myself in a similar situation. This is a small bit of how imagination actually helps. I can sense (not accurately every time) whats going on in others mind. Impossible situations, unexpected answers, utter happiness (or sadness) and everything else that can be imagined comes up in my mind vividly.
Anyways, I love being a kid, it doesn’t matter to me whether I’m misunderstood or taken seriously. I’m not gonna change any time soon. Yes, I’m immature and not gonna mature, like me or not. I’m always in my own world, full of programming, awesome toys and loads of chocolate. Gonna end this post with another Simpleplan song (just the chorus), its called Grow Up
I don’ wanna be told to grow up
and am not gonna change, I just wanna have fun
I don’ wanna be told to grow up
cuz am not gonna change, so you better give up
May the force be with you